strip tease.
She pulled me into the room, sat me down and started dancing away on my lap, as she does. She touched the inside of my thighs and ran her hands up my waist and into my breasts, lingering to hold for a few seconds, biting her lip and shaking her butt in a coy kind of way.
I asked her about her job, I asked her if she enjoyed it, if she ever got tired, and everything else. I told her she didn’t have to keep going if she wasn’t enjoying it. She looked at me and smiled, saying that she enjoyed this because I was one of the fun ones.
She told me she loved how I was so bubbly and happy, and how she loved the fact I was having a great time. She said, it was refreshing to see someone so happy and carefree, someone without a worry in the world. No issues, like everybody else.
I smiled and bit my lip, but I kept my words to myself.
I let her go on and think that the world could be a good place,
that there was some innocence left.
I let her have hope…
Because that’s what I’d want, too.
you.
I have a choice to make tonight.
it’s easy to know the difference between right and wrong…
except when you’re not there.
what’s the point in trying? does anyone ever notice?
will YOU notice a small change in me tonight?
are you still listening?
the bad choice will hurt us both.
and we’re already wounded,
you and I.
but you matter to me.
and if I matter to you,
I matter to me too.
so will it make a difference to you, what i choose?
do you even care anymore?
I’d just go and turn back again if it wasn’t for you.
I have to make a choice tonight,
and to me, you make all the difference…
but are you even there anymore?
is this thing on?
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart.
So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
-Bob Marley
a new beginning.
Hi,
Before I begin, let me introduce myself.
I’m a girl, I’m 18 years old,
I’m confusing at times, I like to think alot, and I can be too deep for the real world. This is why I blog.
I suffer from depression, anxiety, disordered eating and episodes of self-harm. But that doesn’t define me. I may not be proud of what I’ve done, but I can change that.
This year’s been a bit fucked up. It’s been hard. And as much as it hurts I don’t think I can ever go back. I’m too far gone.
This blog is about my journey; triumphs, obstacles and all.
This is my new beginning.
Thanks for reading.
<3
